THE FIRE 'ROUND MIDNIGHT

There’s a strong quote floating around, and this quote holds the weight of a thousand suns within each word. I remember first scrolling through instagram, with the purpose of finding a piece of content that I could resonate with and cherish. Hoping that this piece of founded content would enlighten me and put a smile on my face, this wasn’t a challenge I faced within my solitude but I made it an option for myself and my mind to scroll with intent to consciously satisfy myself. So there I am, scrolling consciously and with the slip of my thumb I almost pass by a photograph of Mr. James Baldwin (Baldwin being one of my idols, how could I dismiss the existence of a nostalgic photograph in which might be accompanied by a really strong quote from one of his books). Although, this caption was from his debate against William F. Buckley; in which he talks about the image of the African American in America and how our people carry the history of this country on our shoulders and within the color of our skin.  The quote was radical but it seemed to me to be  a subtle water drop into an empty bucket, leaving the drop to be the only sound the room heard and allowing that ambience to shift the mind in however way the room chose to perceive it. 

      We as a black community push self empowerment for the simple fact that it is so easy to degrade and to diminish our own selves through the liquor and drugs. This being a way to cope with our truths with others who’ve also weakened their minds to do the same, so we push the concept of self empowerment very strongly because courage is what we need. Courage, more optimism, because to believe in ourselves is a very strong healing component. With this healing component we make it compatible enough to spread this wealth and this knowledge for others who look like us to consume and reproduce. A self empowering identity is reevaluating ourselves, recognizing that the present is in fact realistically the future. A self empowering identity whom acknowledges these realistic, perhaps logical facts, shouldn’t allow themselves to tip toe the rest of their lives because it’s safe when you don’t make mistakes or that it’s safe to agree to everything because it’s safe to play it cool. No, I don’t think that’s how things should be. I believe that a self empowering identity revolves around the commitment and responsibility of accepting entirely who you are as a person with the means to consume knowledge.

      Yes, my history in the past is what I’ve accepted to be the reality of where I am now. Nobody said it was going to be easy being a small brown family in America, in the state of where racism is the heart and soul of America. Nobody gave us a disclaimer, well in fact the disclaimers due exist and we did know. My mother just so happen to have enough courage to move in a forward direction, she just so happen to believe in herself to enough to complete the mission. She just so happen to empower herself and empower her identity. Facts can’t be erased when you’ve left humongous footprints, there’s my source of inspiration and daily motivation. I’ve embodied her definition of empowerment, because I am my mother’s son. Which means I identify with the streets of Dorchester, I identify with the streets of Roxbury, for some it will always be what they’ve only known it to be - which is the streets and the ways to prosper through the streets. Although for me, I’ve known these streets to carry history and everyone else’s footprints. How far they’ve come, from where they come from. How could I change? How could I forget where I came from? 

         What I began to understand going into my adult years, is that the streets have not only produced aspirational individuals - but the streets have produced neighborhood heroes. Icons for the simple fact that they’ve come back from their journeys, fulfilling their ambitions and smiling as a result of the golden ticket to success. A smile so wide it’s contagious, a smile on brown and black faces to me is a symbol of revolution. It signifies courage, confidence, hope - a way of self empowerment. Although there is one thing, that really bothers me. A neighborhood hero was murdered, shot and killed. When there is a man who comes from the same borough you were once born in, and this man knows you, this man has had breakfast with you and the sun has granted you the privilege to hear him speak and laugh and see him smile. A piece of you crumbles inside and the beginning of a desperation to heal unravels like a sunflower seed time lapse, a wisp of silence clouds the streets of where once he walked. I knew this man to be a symbol of self empowerment, intelligent, bold and good looking. 

This question sits with me often, and it seems like no one really has a thorough strategy or answer. How do we end gun violence in the black community? I don’t think it’s up for debate, I think we need to start having a lot more serious discussions that lead into executing different ideas revolving the subject. Because how many more neighborhood heroes do we need being killed? Shot to death? The kids need people like that, a spiritual role model. 

      I have leaned comfortably and enthusiastically into the realm of referencing my heroes, because the more I resonate with their truths the more curious I become about what kind of footprints I want to leave behind for the youthful community to obtain and follow. This kind of influence stems from the the path one takes towards “Healing Mountain”, the nourishment of watering the origin of one’s identity. Going back to the simplicity of solitude and acknowledging the ways we can love ourselves and the ways we impact others by simply loving ourselves. A reflection 

of self love is the contagious idea of acquiring likeliness within someone’s character, being influenced by this reflection. Falling in love and sharpening the image of this reflection, because deep down we know there’s more to us than we know there to be. 

Baldwin once said, “You have to decide who you are and force the world to deal with you, not with its idea of you.” I couldn’t agree more with this quote. 

       Once we eliminate the factors of doubt within our thought process, the clouds remove themselves from in front of the sun to show us the sky. Clarity thrives through simplicity, through honesty, through confidence and how the confidence intertwines with intent to act - to be. Our neighborhood hero embodied these factors, he embodied the mannerisms of a spirit so free that rest of us couldn’t help but smile and applaud him. Support him and cheer him on into his greatness. I wonder why the concept of gun violence seems to cloud the minds of the law enforcement, suddenly every single officer, sherif, mayor and governor disregards the immense amount of deaths increasing by the minute due to black on black crime in the neighborhood. Suddenly there is no strategy, suddenly the law doesn’t know what to do, but they know what to do when they see a black boy by himself. They have an entire strategy of how to strip this brown boy from his identity, from his confidence, leaving him shaking and gasping for air to breathe. 

       It’s disgusting. In these streets? Heroes aren’t forgotten, we multiply.